A sense of sexual pleasure in myself

I have been looking for someone to help me realize my interests in what I call ritual sex worship for a long time. I am a 54 year old male artist. I have always been interested in sex as a ritualized expression of worship. Over the years I have met some people who are like minded, but I can't say I have ever been comfortable with anyone else's creativity, imagination, or interests in sex worship enough to let myself open up and tell all, and experience as much as I feel I need and want to. after reading as much of your site as I think exists I am amazed to find how many different things you mention that I seek and make strong connection to...for example...my first impulse even when I was young regarding another man  was in worshipping  cock physically, symbolically etc... therefore I have always believed in totally focusing on his organ and in developing a sense of sexual pleasure in myself that did not center in my cock, but in my whole body, especially my nipples, my mouth and throat and my anus etc, so that I didn't get into masturbating myself while cock worshipping...or focusing on my orgasm etc...in fact....i taught myself to create a separate sense of what an orgasm is for a cockworshipper...etc...a few years ago I started realizing that there is some kind of anal orgasm that is very different that an ejacualation...and that can have a sense of approximation to pussy orgasms...and i guess that is when I suddenly began to feel the desire to worship pussy as well as cock, and to service a woman completely until she has completed her need to orgasm...and i suppose that it wouldn't suprise you that somewhere along that line the idea of experiencing a complete anal orgasm in the presence of a woman, particularly without penile arousal made me begin to question if anyone else on the planet would get this.

I am a well put together 54 year old male. I am very comfortable considering myself gay, and I live an "out" life, but most often new acquaintances who are not gay, or who aren't thinking that way, are suprised when I make it clear that I am not..."straight"...if we need to use these lables...etc...I have a strong sense of order, and facility to make things happen etc....I am seeking a strong dominant intelligent man to guide me and to train me. I feel the need to be able to converse honestly and openly. strangely, I am somewhat shy and slow to reveal...I have always been slow to get going....get truly comfortable, open up...etc...I live in the USA but travel frequently to europe. I am self employed, and try to fit my writing projects to my impulses to travel and to explore...So...on a long shot that something might come of this...or at least something more than a single meeting...maybe if this interests you and if i/we find somekind of exchange that suits you here, maybe i could arrange to be in london for a couple of weeks...or so...and maybe we could meet and see if we get along and then maybe do something that might involve a few sessions or a period of time or well...i have lots of ideas but fantasy and reality are ..well...enough...i am quite serious, definitely honest about my interest in this as something more than the "dirty video" version....in fact, well, i don't think of this kind of sex as dirty, however, the more honest i feel the more kinky..for lack of the right word...my mind becomes...i hope you are still active on this site and that you get this email and find it something that you will reply to. thank you, david 

I fantasize about working some older larger guy. He flirts a bit and next thing I know I'm staring at the most beautiful piece of man meat imagineable. I suck it until it explodes in my mouth as he holds the back of my head and tells me how good I'm sucking him off....Robert

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