From My secret life bi/ Walters

Above all sucked his prick! An act I had certainly heard of being done by men to each other, yet all but disbelieved, and looked on as a very foul action, yet I had done it, had enjoyed it all. Much as I had done and seen before, I was not quite easy in my mind, spite of my philosophy that any sexual enjoyment is permissible, that our organs of generation are for our own use and pleasure, and that what men and women choose to do together they have a right to do, it concerning no one else. Such are the results of prejudices and false education. It ended in reflecting that I never had intended to do those things, that opportunity had let me unwittingly to do them, and resolving that I would never do it again, I fell asleep. Next morning at breakfast I thought, "That debauch will never be renewed." After luncheon, "What was the harm after all." Then I began to think I should like to feel him once more, to watch the phenomenon of the spend more coolly and philosophically. Once more to make him spend, and to watch his prick from its stiffening to its shrinking. To watch his face and see how pleasure affected it. Why should I not bring him and Sarah naked together as I had done and see his prick rise, let him fuck her, and watch as I did last night, surely there is no harm, or not more than in looking at such doings through a spyhole. The man is clearly not a sodomite, or he would not be so ready to fuck her. He is out of work, and probably is what he says he is. It is a chance which never may come again to me. I thought of the double fuck without the washing, of the prick in my mouth, and then felt ashamed. "I must have been screwed and so excited that I did not know what I was about, I shall never do that again, and hope he won't tell Sarah. I then took a gallop, determining again to get him. I had slept so badly on the previous night that on my return I laid down. My mind wandered to his prick and what Sarah called his purse. I wondered if his prick was really bigger than mine and wished I had measured it. I wondered if he spent more or less than me, and many other things; and at last came to the conclusion that I ought to be ashamed of myself, and being empty in stomach and fatigued, said, "I have done with that business."

Then I went to my club, had dinner, desire to see him again then came back, and soon I was with Sarah arranging for another meeting. Said she, "You'd a pretty good night, I declare that if I were to tell some women what we did, they'd only believe part of it, he wanted to sleep with me." She dare say he would come again willingly, she would go and see. I gave her money to buy him trowsers, cravat, and collars, said that he was to take a bath, and also gave her money to feed him well. Sarah met me out an hour afterwards. He would be there the following night. She had done all I wished, and the fellow looked as spruce as possible. I was again nervous, and so was he, but a few minutes' conversation put us at ease. We stripped, and behold us close together, I holding that handsome tool of his. He asked if Sarah was coming, but I did not want her then, and sat with his balls in my hand, for a time thinking of the size and fullness of the scrotum. Of the sovereign, he told me that he first paid fifteen shillings for rent, and the rest where he owed money, that Sarah had got him good food, that he had not spent since that last night "When I thought of it all, I got to want it' said he. Then I washed his genitals and made a complete and curious examination of his penis and scrotum, and had more complete quiet pleasure crowding in that than on the previous occasion. Before when feeling his prick it did not make me randy, tonight it did. My examination began to tell on him, and when I had pulled the foreskin once or twice up and down, his rod was stiff. Then up stiffened mine I began frigging him. "Now I will look at your sperm as it comes.' Suddenly he laid hold, of my prick. "Hullo, don't do that.' He relinquished it begging pardon, saying he did not know what made him do it. My pulling his about seemed quite a proper thing for me, for I paid him for it; but directly he touched my prick, I felt disgusted. The mind is an odd thing, if a gentleman had felt me, should I have been equally shocked?

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