totally unfettered by all of the societal ligatures...

Hi Seb, Woke up this morning thinking about you and realized it was time to sit down and share a few thoughts with you. I've never met you but have visited your site a lot over the past year or so and invested more than a few hours there each time. There's something really fascinating and wonderful about the freedom that you have with your body, your mind and your sex. You seem totally unfettered by all of the societal ligatures that compete for our souls - and that's something that really intrigues me. As a photographer I've been creating images of nude bodies for a long time now. One of the things that I'm always looking for in the people I photograph is this same kind of freedom with themselves that you have in spades. When a person feels that comfort within themselves, it comes pouring out in the images I create of their bodies. I've mostly focused on men in my work over the years because it seems as though that inner freedom, which translates into physical freedom, exists more readily with men than with women. That's a complicated conversation though and I'll just skip by it for now. There's something inside of a person, that's particularly attractive to me, that speaks to their comfort with who they are both physically and emotionally. That's what I'm drawn to and that's what I'm always looking for, whether it's in the models I photograph, the people I make love to or the people I call friends.

And you Seb, have it. I think I figured it out just a few minutes into my first visit to your site and it keeps drawing me back. In many ways both obvious and subtle, you're the essence of what it means to be free, right down to the way you spell. You're way out there beyond the boundaries of gay and straight and male and female. It's like you've drawn all of it up into you and allowed it to express itself however and wherever it will without judgement or reticence. That's a beautiful thing and it's captured my attention in a way that few things have in the past few years. So I just wanted to take a few minutes and thank you for investing the time and energy you have in sharing yourself - it's a gift for many of us to be sure, to be taken along on this journey you're on and taste a little of the freedom you're enjoying there. Since I was very young I've been carried along in a current of deep and unrelenting sexual feeling and desire that's never for a moment lulled or disguised itself. It took a long time to make peace with it. But I have. Finding someone to share the journey with has been more challenging. I'm not suggesting a relationship between us here - just contemplating how great it would be to have the chance to explore some of the nether regions of sexual desire with you wherein there would be no judgement or reticence.

In some ways I'm fragile and in others amazingly courageous and adventuresome and realize that you're a person who knows and understands both of those polarities and would be ideal for a romp that never loses sight of either. A broad sexual periferal vision if you will...Your own exploration of your sexuality and the work you do with others has opened up new avenues of thought for me. Believe it or not, I've learned through reading your words to be a little kinder to myself and a little more patient and creative with getting to orgasm. I've been fascinated with my butthole since I was little and have enjoyed reading about your thoughts and experiences where this amazing part of our bodies is concerned. I've learned to slide a dildo up into my hole and just leave it there - roll over and go to sleep and just let it be and enjoy whatever comes of the experience. I might never have done that had I not read about you doing it - and it's something I really enjoy now. As a matter of fact, a plug is in my ass as I'm writing to you. I put it there several hours ago before a long saturday morning nap. It's begging to be pulled now but it won't be until I've finished with this letter. It's no longer about the orgasm - it's about moving into a new and different place with the sexual and physical experience.

After reading your site for the first time I contacted a retired police officer in my area who's into giving guys enemas as part of an erotic punishment scene - I was needing something that in some way would begin to approximate the kind of experience you describe so well on your site. I was nervous as hell but was willing to risk that he would be somewhat like you - a person who could go to that "place" but respect my humanity at the same time. And he did. I came away from the experience changed. After nearly six hours of gut-wrenching enemas, the likes of which I'd never experienced before, something in me had shifted. I surrendered completely to the experience - feeling both humiliation and a certain calm surrender in it all. I didn't fight him because it was my choice to be there. I simply let him do what he was going to do and focused on letting go of everything in me that wanted to pull my pants back on and leave. And believe me Seb, after the first filling with hot soapy water, lying naked over his lap, I wanted to leave. Boy did I want to leave. At one point I said to him, "This isn't fun anymore. I think I want to stop."  He gently but firmly kept me going and got me over the hump and to the point where I really believe I could have kept opening up my hole to his enemas for several more hours. It was him that called an end to the session when he felt like I'd gone far enough. The last fill was over seven liters - something that still to this day amazes me - I looked down at my belly and it looked like I was seven months pregnant. I could barely move to get off the bed and into the bathroom. But that's how surrendered and relaxed my body had become. There were no drugs or alcohol involved - it was about something more trascendental that didn't need any assistance.

My dick stayed hard as a rock through the entire six hours and was pretty much aching by the time it was over, so I knew at some level that it was definitely as much about the erotic aspect of it as the punishment part. When my gut was finally emptied for the last time and I knew that there would be no more fillings, I laid there naked on the motel room bed and got myself off. There was no embarassment at all - it felt like the most natural and comfortable thing in the world to allow myself that release with this burly retired police officer watching. He watched but didn't participate. He wasn't into the sex - he was into the giving of the enemas and guiding me through the experience in a safe, thoughtful way. He reminded me often that I was being punished but didn't go to a place of humiliating me with his words. He let the enemas do that part of the job for him. When it was all over he just held me - he held me in his big hairy arms and just kind of rocked me - naked in his lap. It was a life changing experience in a lot of different ways and one that I would probably never have allowed myself to have had I not found your words on your site. So thank you Seb. Your work is affecting even those of us who don't have the privilege of being with you in person. Even for someone like me who prides himself on being so open and free, there's still territory to cover and things to learn. And you're a catalyst for a lot of learning and growing where I'm concerned. When it's possible, I'll come to London and schedule some time with you. I'm deeply drawn to who you are, what you do and how you do it. There's a shamanistic quality to you and the work you're involved with and I've felt it many times in reading your words. You totally come through in every square inch of your site. I'm looking forward to meeting you and continuing this exploration. You're a treasure to be sure. Affectionately and with gratitude, Lawrence.

Hi Seb, I thought Lawrences story was quite uplifting and liberating. I totally reinforce everything he has said about you and your site. I am off to expand my mind and my sexuality with the Body Electric School in Amsterdam in July on the Sacred Intimate course. I am looking to set up a gay mans spiritual group with a focus on supporting physical emotional spiritual and sexual development - could do with some pointers. Also have an ad in the gay times in April to explore living in community with a group of guys for similar development. Love and light Mark   X

Lawrence's account of a six-hour "erotic punishment enema" at the hands of a retired cop fascinated me.  I'm a guy who isn't really not into pain, but a powerful anal challenge can be an unforgettable pleasure, as the cop obviously knows.  Six hours of "gut-wrenching enemas" must have been a transcending scene.  Please relay my complements to the writer. I was surprised to read, Seb, that you are "just discovering enemas, so don't really know much about them."  I assumed the name "Enemagra" must related to enema play, but apparently not. Hope you'll continue exploring this sector and "filling us in" on your findings!  Lyn

Seb: Your website is freakin amazing, man! You are definitely one of the pioneers! Have you heard of Joseph Kramer and the Body Electric School of Massage? Have done several of their "Celebrate the Body Erotic" workshops in years past.I found your site by doing a google search on "punishment enemas". I am not interested whatever in punishment, but I am very interested to know if you have any experience using enemas in a ritual, erotic context. I have had some of the most intense, ecstatic, shattering orgasms of my life while taking enemas. They are not a tool for any kind of scat play whatever, but I know you will understand why that kind of anal stimulation would produce that kind of result. Would love to hear from you. (A)

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