praying the rosary

I was studying for the Catholic priesthood in the U.S. back in the 60's. I was about to be ordained, and had kept my virginity to that point. I really wanted to be holly, and thought that one could sublimize one's libido by keeping busy, praying the rosary, and taking cold showers alone. One Sunday morning, I was assigned to clean the priests' (faculty's) recreation room. But to my big surprise I found one of the priests-teachers asleep, with his fly open, his large white dick out, and lots of dry cum all over his black pants and undies. He smelled at hard liquour. I guessed he had fallen asleep after jacking his large cock, and getting drunk. I knew he had alcoholic problems, but I had never guessed that he loved to jack off. I was totally shocked, and said to myself that if I was to end up wanking like that and getting drunk every weekend, I'd better quit the prieshood, and leave the U.S. as soon as possible. I noticed then how sad and lonly these fucking Catholic priests lived and do live nowadays, and that it was really sad to see them end like that as they grew older. I went to see the superior and told him I needed to go home. But the funny thing is that the same day that the Holy See in Rome dispensed my chastity vows, I had one of the greatest wanks of my entire life. It was a farewell to the the freaking Catholic priesthood. My sexual troubles did not end right there. As I got into the normal day living of a late-twenties grownup, and after losing my virginity at age 27, and starting to practice masturbation on a regular basis, I felt I was empty and needed the God of the Jews, which Catholics and Chrstians worship. After three terrible years of marriage, and constant nagging with my wife, I started to find God again, but this time during my last Senior year at a Christian College back in the U.S. West.

Cigarette smoking and getting drunk at least twice a week, having a nice job, and two wonderful men, and real wild sex with my wife, in spite of all the quarreling, did not herlp me to attain peace. So, I became a Christian (protestant), and started to work in the Holy Spirit's gifts, incluidng healing and miracles. Wife and children did not follow suit, but I kept serving God with the same fervor that I had during my U.S. seminarian days. After 15 years with my first Christian pastor, I found out that he had been committing adultery in a regular basis. God punished him by killing his first-borns, the lady first and then his son. I then decided that I would not "eat with adulterors. I followed another pastor, and he fell in the same types of sexual sins. I left him and joined another Christian congregation where the pastor's daughter commited fornication. Since I love to preach against these sexual sins, I left him and found another pastor whose wife cheated on him, but first wanted me to fuck her too. I left this pastor too. I then found an organization that now calls itself Messianic Jews, and after 11 years my three superior "pastors" have all of them committed adultery too! So, here I am really pissed off with the Catholics, the Christians, and the Messianics for being such a "God" cheaters. I've started a new organization by myself, but will I have to continue bearing these liers all the way to hell? I know I was no angel before becoming a Christian. I did fucked a lot of ladies back in my late twenties and 30's, but once I decided that the only way to be at peace with oneself is to remain "holy", I have noticed that it is so darn difficult, and after preaching so much against sexual sins, I may also be weak and commit adultary in the future. I know that God's grace will help me out, but look at me now watching your page! Am I taking revange against these false religious leaders, and giving vent to my own repressed libido? What the fuck is going out there in the world with so many Christian, Catholic and Messianic leaders who preach not to commit fornication and/or adultery, and they themselves are doing the same behind their congregations' backs (Romans 2). Is it natural that religious leaders just like in Jesus' time do this things? Or are our sex drives so powerful that all males cheat our wives, and our religious congregations? What is going on? Will I finally give in and fall into the same pit as they all have? What am I looking for? I need to denounce these fucking bastards once and for all. The trouble is that the people I want to find out about their fake leaders do not read English. They are so poor and naive. These people to whom they preach are doing the same thing behind their wives or husbands. What a mess! Don't you think?

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